I am one who has repressed memories. Mine were not brought about with therapy. In fact, I sought out therapy from having these "visions". I did have nightmares but my repressed memories did NOT come about in dreams. They came when awake and is always triggered by something. Usually by sound or smell or feeling, (like fear).

I can tell you that they SUCK and make me sick and I'm usually laid up for weeks after. Only recently have I been able to process them and deal with daily life functioning simultaneously.

The only way I can describe a repressed memory coming to the surface is like how you remember something you've forgotten but then all of sudden remember. It's there all of a sudden. Also for me, the memories are very physical. I can tell you more precisely how my body was positioned than what I was feeling. My therapist calls this "somatic memories" or body memories. Apparently these are stored with amazing clarity because it does feel like reliving it when the repressed memory surfaces.

My first memory was actual pain. No vision, no smell, just pain. It actually doubled me over during work and I thought I'd better get an appointment with the doctor the next day. The rest of the memory appeared the next morning after fully awakening. Of course, then, all I wanted to do was crawl back in bed and die there. I don't wish this on anyone. It's a terribly painful process and it makes me shake just thinking about it. For me, I HAD to have them. I had no control over when or where they would happen. There were actually times I wish it would just come all at once so I could get it over with instead of the not knowing when the next one would hit.

This forum has helped me tremendously in this respect. I was able to come online and process it here and get feedback. There are people here that told me under the circumstances, I was doing well even though I felt like dying. It helps me get through it all. Eventually, (like the greiving process), I got through it. Little by little it gets better. I'm still awaiting for more to surface. I think I'm up to fourteen memories now. Not all of them are bad, but most are.

What Bec said here: Is an awesome one. When I was abused, I had one sister that was abused with me and my mother. My mother will not tell me anything partly because of her culture and partly because of the language barrier. My sister however does not remember a thing. NONE of my memories have been validated by an outside source. Some of my memories have credibility in that I can describe the details and how my body was. The view that I have is at the proper height for a four year old, etc. I remember what I was looking at during some of the traumas. I can describe the smell. It's very weird and surreal. Now, Bec pointed out that feelings is feelings no matter if the memories are true. I had to come to terms with this and it's easier said than done, let me tell you. What she says is true though. If you have a therapist, talk and spill it. Even your dreams. Write it down. Have a journal and write all your terrors in it. You may see a pattern or a general theme. I wish you tonight, a solid sleep with no terrors.

If you have any more questions PM me. I'm willing to share.