I have been struggling with my chemical system short-circuiting quite a bit this past week.....A couple of weeks ago I decided that I would ask my psychodoc if I could go of one of my meds.....I felt that it would be helpful for me to get into a couple of traumatic incidents in my early years and talk about them....and I felt that all the meds were keeping me away from being able to do that.....So he suggested the Remeron....about the first week of it....I didn't know much difference....I was able to draw up a short bit of a time-line....I really talked about some incidents lst Thursday with my therapist....I had started a few days before that with some physiological symptoms....and over the weekend all hell broke loose!!!! I was experiencing severe pain throughout my body and all around me.....OUCH!!!!! It is not the sort of pain that any sort of :pills: could take care of....so I went back on the Remeron in absolute necessity!!!! I did not want to but my nervous system was having a HISSY-FIT!!!!! I went to my psychodoc Monday and he said that it was okay for me to have gone back on the Remeron....so since I have struggled with my body systems as they all readjust....I've had some viscious nightmares since about 5 days off the R.....the one has just STUCK with me.....2 days I've spent time hauling some of a friend's stuff to her new place about 8 miles south of here....more hell!!!! Today we got lossed on the way back somehow...we ended up way south west of here before I figured out we were lost....of course my friend is trying to figure out how and why we got lost and I had to cut her off [she is easily offended] twice as I told here it doesn't matter now....I have to be calm to figure out the way back....she had her ideas and I finally said for her not to say anything else.....she was miffed but FINALLY shut TFU!!!! and I got us back even though I was a bit tense as I was watching the gas gauge shift lower and lower.....I will not take her anywhere again!!!! I kept nicely telling her yesterday and today that once inside my van...It's MY DOMAIN!!!! I make all the decisions!!!! She was P'O'd when I said that....but that's something I insist on!!!! :boxem: I was way late to my writing group....but I wasn't going to let all the hassles keep me from going....that helped me to feel better and I am glad that I went!! as for my friend:up-yours: This afternoon I see my casemanager here at 2pm and my therapist at 5:30 pm.....Damn!!! It has been so f'king hard to leave my apt. as I feel so irritable and agitated!!!! This am I had to go back to bed and ended up under my huge fluffy blanket with my oldest bunny and just was frantically rocking myself with my feet for about an hour....what a bitch of a time!!!!! This :fight: is what is going to happen to the next a**hole that gets anywhere near me for the next few days!!!!!