It's been a while and I thought I would update on this situation. When the last part of the subject was added, it made me sit back and really evaluate my situation and the way I've been handling it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that that is what was happening. So, I decided to change that. I didn't want to be that.
I have been around people every night this week. Instead of pushing them away, I'm pulling them closer and I can't say that I remember a time when I have felt this good lately.
My closest friends have told me that they are glad "to have me back". I'm glad to be back. I have even started a new friendship while pulling my other friends closer than before.
No it isn't easy. I have ptsd and all but one of them don't. I have accepted that those who don't have it won't understand it unless they develop it and it would be wrong on my part to ask them to understand it to that extent. But I can allow them to be there and even though it's hard to do that because I fear getting hurt, it's actually the best thing I can do for myself right now.