I am sorry coming in so late, you know when we hit our own bottoms it is hard to help others or give personal experience.

First if you trust him with your life that is your bud. I say go for it. I mean you have to go through some serious shit with one to be that close. Only one bud I am like that with through all (cough cough) 4 marriages. We had always swore if we ended up divorced again we would marry. Just because we know each other that well and inside out. Not a sex thing mind you at all. He has this shit too, the life of PTSD.

When I broke down with him and he pulled me up when I "knew" I would lose him it made me OK. Now mind you a casual friend or not a long term... may not be the same. He was in his ealy 20's and me in my late teens as fiends until now. Now he is grandpa!!! Love to give him shit as he got there first.

Other "friends", you may soon learn it is a short list. That is just how it is with people who don't know and it has a stigma.

But agoraphobia. Stop it in it's tracks now if possible, fight it like mother f*er and a half! I have it to the extreme. It is horrible. I used to be able after moving from the city to the sticks to enjoy my fields and farm, to now I can't even do that. It gets harder and harder. You think of the crazy ol' lady with all the cats locked in her home? That is where you will be. Like me. God when I made cracks like that younger I never thought it would really happen to me, and back then I thought it was funny. I force my self out to eat I am sick in bed for almost a week. You dont want to be like this.

I used to love my baby gosling (goose) think I was mom and follow me all over the house and around the yards and to the mail box. I cannot leave my porch without panic now. Fight that beast. I cannot tell you enough to snip it in the bud any way you can.

You are doing great getting out, keep it up!