I have MS and currently, I am going through a flare right now I have no sensation in my lower extremities and when I do it is just pain that I feel, The thing is, that while painful, annoying and alarming it is not debilitating and could be an indication of my new normal. This last tour at work was one of the most stressful I have had in a while I had an exposure, and now get to go through all the tests, while I have little worry that my patient is, or was infected with anything, Having a little one at home brings everything to a new perspective.

I could take a leave based on both stress and medical and it would be paid at 3/4 of my normal take home but, I feel if I didn't have work I would just continue to deteriorate more and more each day, as bad as it sounds as long as others need me I can focus somewhat more on them than myself, I know that my family should be my first priority, and they are but I don't know if I could continue to hold it together and function if I allowed my self to take time , I think it would just escalate things. I don't know its a warped outlook and not overly healthy but, this is my struggle.