OK, I have insomnia and am stuck awake... but the predisposed is total BS. My sister and I are identical twins as Anthony said, but I want to emphasize identicle genetically down to a freckle on our face that is just a couple inches aside. Blood tests would show her kids as mine... Our bro is insane. She was pimped out and severely abused by her husband (one of them) she has had his BS get a person to show up at her job and put a shot gun in her face to send a message to him. He forced her to sleep with is own dad to pay for his crack. She was abusing pills at one point and dealt with other drug addictions. She has a major phobia of pills now as she took a muscle relaxer and all she remembers is it was a pink pill. It had the opposite effect and he let her lay in the floor, another was there who took her to ER or called ambulance. She attempted suicide. ODed on iron vitamins. She was raped for years by our brother and has full recall mine is repressed. Our parents tossed us out as kids. She a little later than me and she moved in with me when my mother shipped her out at 16. Abuse by long term boyfriend, she had cervical cancer. She had the plumbing removed to only have him punch her in the stomache just days after surgery because she would not have sex with his drunk ass when he came home that night/morn.

These are things I know about and coming to mind, lord knows what she has not told me and popping in my head. But she is OK. She has moved on and is OK and deals just fine and happy. Her daughter was raped over the summer I just found out by a 30 yo man. She still is fine. HOW?????

Me I am a mess and I did not have it worse in my head. Maybe just as bad in my own way but why me and not her. She was being insensitive tonight, I rarely speak to my family now. I told her it was like the panic attacks she used to get and she no longer does and controls and I had not had the pleasure yet. I did not get it. I told her PTSD is like that, you just have to have it to get it. She seemed to understand that. She still does not understand why it has left me so disabled and she can function just fine. Man my first panic attack I felt like an ass for me thinking to her quit over reacting, but I see she may have had those but that was it and got over them.

My doc has even brought up how he wanted to meet her, we would make a great case study. All I know it is a mystery and want to get better, not be studied. All we can do is face it and try to cope. But trying to figure out if there is a root cause beyond trauma, there just isn't, and if someone tries to feed you that, they have no clue, no proof. Not even a little.

I wish there was something I could "blame" for feeling weak. Ain't gonna happen. This is just what we have been dealt and we have to find our way to coping. Sorry not what you are looking for but about as close to genetics and the relation on this board.

Now overall anxiety... that could be nurture as much as nature. I am clueless on that part.