This is how I felt, too. And like sibemom, I've asked myself why now? Why didn't I fall apart when all of the rough stuff was going on?

Like you, veiled, I've always been told that I was strong. So if I'm strong, I can't fall apart. Why not? Because I'm strong, everyone needs me and to fall apart would make me weak. My mom still tells me I'm one of the strongest people she knows. I want to tell her not to say that. But I can't do that because then I'll feel guilty for bursting her perception bubble. I'm still having problems (and feel guilty) because 'I snapped'. I'm strong...I shoudn't have. I should have been strong enough to handle this without falling apart. Logically I know that it's not true...but try telling that to my emotions. Part of me wants just act like nothing's happened, everything's fine. Just pretend that I'm fine, the doctors were wrong and go back to my 'real' life. Part of me knows that's not going to do anything but make things worse. So I have this on-going internal battle/debate and I wish I knew how to make it go away.