lizagirl, thank you SO much. Already I feel understood just reading your words because they resonate with me. My brother and I have a very strained relationship because, way before I knew I needed treatment, he had a "discussion" with me about my life - days after my father died, days after I dropped out of college, months after my last suicide attempt. He didn't know what I was going through, but when I told him I didn't want to talk, he kept pressing me. I'm crying a river and he's still interrogating me. My friend Dee finally stepped in and told him to stop. Now, I can't forget it, can't let go of it, and we barely speak. Now, when someone ask me questions, I immediately get on the defensive, even if they just ask me a simple question.

I seem to have all these triggers... but I'm finding comfort in understanding why now. At first, when I started really digging in with research, I started with "Adult Children of Alcoholics" stuff, then "Adult Daughters of Alcoholics"... then dissociative disorders... then I get diagnosed with PTSD. It's like... Hell and my Birthday all rolled into one, if ya know what I mean :) I started to feel like "I can't possibly have this many separate things wrong with me," and it turns out that they were all smaller parts of a larger issue.

I keep fighting off tears just because I'm feeling... everything all at once. I'm just so grateful.... full of gratitude. I hope the doctor and I can get on the same page for a treatment plan.

Thank you again! SO much!