Nam-yeah...I swallowed it. Didn't want to, though. But when someone shoves the truth right in front of your face, it's kinda hard not to acknowledge it.

veiled-my husband and family do believe, but the problem lies with me. Especially with my husband I've tried to explain how I feel, what's going on, etc. I've read him articles and quotes from books trying to get him to 'get it' and then we both would get frustrated when he didn't. I felt like he wasn't trying hard enough to understand what I'm going through. But like my therapist said, he can't. He doesn't have PTSD. This is something that is mine alone and I have to deal with that.

My 20th anniversary is next week. My husband and I have always been so close and in tune with each other (we finish each other's sentences and things like that) and we've always talked and been open and shared our thoughts, hopes, etc. Does the fact that he can't be in tune with me on this hurt? Oh you bet it does. I know he loves me and supports me. But I hate that this part of my life is closed to him. He also has his own issues of coming to terms with the changes in his wife to deal with. Oh man...I hate this shit. I just want to stomp my feet and scream like a four year old that I want my life back. I'm sure my husband would also like his wife back, too.

Anthony-yes, he is a smart therapist. And this is harder than I thought it would be. And I have the feeling that it's going to get worse before it gets better and that really scares the hell out of me.