Hi Cindi,
Perhaps a start in managing anger is to work back starting with what actually happens when you are angry. Can you remember a specific time you though "Oh no, I really shouldn't have done that". What did you do to release that anger (yell, break things, hit things or people etc.)? It sounds like you mean it happens pretty frequently Cindi. Can you share with us a specific incident that you would like to pull apart. This one incident could follow the same or a similar pattern like many others. I think that we could work back to see what made you respond like that. Everyone responds differenty under pressure and it's important you know how you respond and the lead up so you can then create an action plan to interveen and contol aspects of you anger.

Once we have thought about what you actually do when you feel anger the next step back from that is looking at what built you up. I've notice for me that anger is both a gradual process and instant. I might bottle things up for a few days, thing like arguments, comments people have said, feelings of negativity or loniless etc. (have a look at Anthony's Iceberg diagram of other emotions embeded within anger)....they're all thoughts that I choose to focus on and over time, I have trained myself to notice that my behaviour gets worse then I just crack. What are you thinking and feeling before you have an anger outburst?

For some people it has been gradually getting worse over years and their short fuse has become shorter, therefore when they get stressed immediately, instead of taking a few days, an outburst may occur within 2 seconds because their body has learnt that pattern. The good news is that we can break this habbit when we observe our patterns.

So Cindi, if you would like to, please tell us about one of the recent times you felt this way by explaining what you did and why?

Evelyn.