Things you wish you could say at work:
- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a #$ck!
- How about 'never'? Is 'never' good enough for you?
- It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word your saying.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
- I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
- I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.
- I don't work here. I'm a consultant.