Cookie, I see no reason anyone would say you are lying... You are about as straight laced as they seem to come and not a bad thing. But I think the goal, and hope I get corrected if wrong, is when we have PTSD uncontrolled we make some pretty stupid, thoughtless, selfish, impulsive moves. I know this certainly is not a self esteem booster going on in here.

But if we can be more open at the stupid shit we pulled maybe it will help those holding back open up more and get the help they need. Especially when they see how far some of have gone and come back... Know what I mean?

Rage has been a very bad enemy of mine a long time and still trying to tame it. And with my rage you find fear, in fear my panic lies... and it goes on like that, Like a big ol' circle. And all the diffrent ways different people supress it and fall victim to stupid moves. Or feelings of I deserve this and fall victim to bad choices. It is nothing new and all new comers need to see and understand that. They need to know they are not alone and you can heal and become a better person.

Does this mean I will ever mature enough not to giggle my ass off at South Park? Probably not, but I am a better person now that I am learning who I am, not that the things that happened to me make me. Effect some choices, but I have the power now to change it where befoe I was just a lost soul.