Hmmm interesting thread. It actually made me feel braver to share, after reading some of the stuff you've all written.

Before age 19 (when the murder/suicide/attempted murder happened), I don't have very good recall. I mean I remember bits and pieces but a lot of it is a blur and feels almost like a different life. I do remember though that I could be very mean to other kids, especially kids who mocked me because I was a army brat. I remember myself and the other military kids ganging up on kids who teased us and beating the crap out of them. I also did a lot of vandalism around age 12-13. The worst I think was pushing over a tombstone in a cemetery and smashing it. I experimented with drugs but never got into anything, and I can't drink alcohol as it gives me hives.

After my trauma, I think the worst thing I've done is push everyone away. I was very cruel about it too and I've probably hurt a lot of people in the process. I've also made tentative friends with people several times and then abruptly broke it off with them, with no explanation. I do it because I'm uncomfortable, but that's no excuse. I've also done a lot of lying about my family and background... very few people know what actually happened or who I actually am.