I had an abortion I ever so regret and never will forgive myself for... I had gone and sought out a man who was a cop after I broke up with my husband who was a cop. He looked just like him, on purpose. The kids were allowed to meet him twice. They were surprised as it looked just like their step-dad. I was still very emotionally needy or thought so to this man(ex#3).

This guy Pampered me to no end. He would get angry if I lifted a finger in his home, did not want me to work... He was a vice president of a county union for the department. OK I learned I was a toy and candy. He hired a maid and left a note not to go past his office if I was there. He paid my bills and the whole 9 yards, so I guess he wa a sugar daddy too... Not what I was looking for just a replica of an ex I thought I could not face the world with out as he had taught me.

He started to get violent, taking BS from work out on me. He wanted to have a baby and never hid that but said he could not... Yes big dumbass coming in loud and clear now thank you.

We had been in a fight, pretty much him coming after me, I locked myself in a bathroom. I heard him leave and come back being calm. I heard a clicking noise. I have no idea, could have been a zippo lighting a smoke. But in my mind and still I felt it was the cocking of a gun real slow. I crawled up in the sink and told him I would come out when he left. (His house) he left and I grabbed my purse and keys and hauled ass. The only time I can recall drinking and driving I was so scared he would shoot me. I called my ex (I forgave after rape) to meet me on a back road to "lead me in". So If I hit a car it would be his...

I came back with my current husband he knew I was dating him and not wanting to "settle down" and my dad I still spoke with to get my few things from there.

After that I found out I was pregnant. I did not think there was a chance of it being hubs as it did not line up, but this guys lying seemed real possible. The idea of being stuck with another nut like my first ex was more than I could handle, and even my Catholic family supported it.

I Was so ill going in. My baby sis fed me valium just to get me in the door like candy. And of all the f*ing people to be there with his girl friend whose appt was at the same time so we sat in recovery together... My first and most evil ex. It has never come up. We acted like we did not even see each other even thhough his girlfriend tried to talk to me.

I was one who paid to be knocked out. As the lady was preping for putting me out I said NO. I can't. (I had always been pro choice until there) I tried to sit up and she said something in response I do not recall. I do know I said no I can't do this. Next thing I know I wake and the baby gone.

I almost killed myself, Hubs not a serious thing at the time, casually dating, cared for me, fed me pain killers, alcohol, valium... Anything for me not to flip out. He is angry and regrets it too as he took me. It is a heavy burden we both have... We feel guilty for the baby we have now but felt we had it coming when I lost one after her. I held the tiny thing in my hand crying and we buried the fetus in our back field...

A very dark time for me and my husband. We went in as pro-choice and left as strong as a pro-life advocate as they come, us both. He held me for days while I cried I told them to stop.