Well, I am happy to see my cuts doing well, but it still is a bitch. The back pain is horrible but making it. I think I am actually proud of myself so much making it this far that it is boosting me up enough to cope better. I FINALLY feel like I am doing something. I had set a goal and it has taking a long time to get to the drugs being all the way out and even look forward to the pain come Thanksgiving as I take my last cut and be drug free I just see how long and hard a road the drugs have been for me and coming off. I really thought as it was so much dope that the day of xanax out would never be here or reality. But here it is, just days away. A goal and an accomplishment. I mean I actually am accomplishing it.

I know my head has not been well put together around here and I have been losing my balance, worn out, and depth perception... LOL I won't go there, it makes things interesting for sure.

I know I have typos out the wazoo, but I am typing and trying not to be withdrawn and stay active somewhat.

I would love a massage and after I am done with this last round may go treat myself to one of those long sessions and do the deep muscle. I think I deserve it :) Maybe set something up in Kansas like that to help with a more natural way to relax and get myself out of the home too. Be nice if I could knock out 2 birds with one stone like that.

My son was supposed to help me today, I am annoyed as no help until I told him hubs was on the way home... Now he is doing his chores at least.

I found laughter to also be good medicine. As withdrawals keep me up all night I rented a bunch of stupid shows and stand up acts (hubs did) so when I am stuck up all night I watch those and it seems to help. He is supposed to get me more.

Hubs is officially done at work, he finished what he needed today so I guess the will leave sometime tomorrow and be back next Sunday before school resumes from the Thanksgiving break. I hope it will be nice to have him home and we get to have the fun of sorting and packing and deciding what to keep and what to throw out or freecycle. And it means no more school runs for me as he gets to run the kids around now :) So a nice break and come Christmas I hope withdrawals are done and I can handle driving my car. Will have to make plans to not go through any major cities and take a more "scenic route" as I don't think I will be up to city freeway driving.

All in all not so bad and things are coming together I just feel ill and in pain, but not in a bad way! Day not horrible.