From right before I turned 15 until I left home to join the army at 17, I used to cut myself. When I was that age a lot of stuff happened in my home. My brother got his girlfriend pregnant, my parents were having a lot of problems and my sister was moving in and out of the house about every 6-9 months or so. I wanted attention (nothing special-just the normal attention that kids need) and there was none left over for me. My mom told me one day that she knew that I was not getting a lot of attention, but she knew I was strong and could handle it.

I remember thinking that if I cut myself and someone saw, that I would get that attention I wanted. It started out as scratches. No one noticed. It got worse. No one noticed. No one ever noticed that I had scratches and cuts all over my arm. If they did, no one said anything. Cutting also gave me a feeling of some control over my life when I felt I had absolutely none.

When I noticed that my oldest daughter had cut herself, it was an absolute flashback from hell. All I could think was 'OMG...what have I done to her that she had to do what I did.' I felt like the world's worst mother at that point and I still have so much guilt over this.