Hell Nov, that post is me.

Looks over at brother who she wishes were dead. I hate my brother, I hate the way he treated me, the things he did to me. I hate that he lied about it, that he put the blame on me.

I also love my brother because he is my brother. I was bought up to believe that family stick together but boys, you raped me. Brothers don't do that to their sisters.

I despise my mother. I detest the way she has ignored me every time I have asked for help. I despise the way that even after she knew about the abuse she still tries to get me and bro dearest to play nice.
I despise the way she takes his side in everything then tries to justify it to me. I despise the way she blames me for causing problems, blames me for cutting and won't admit to herself that I am not punishing her.

I hate that she makes me feel so guilty about having to move back to her place. I hate that my brother never has to work for anything in life, he just gets it given to him (mainly by mother dearest)

I hate the way my mother knows just what to say to make me feel the worst about myself.

I hate the way that the only way I could admit this was after a few drinks.