Bdharrel
I would like to start by saying that I feel for you but if you would like any advice from one emergency service worker to another don't try to hide or deal with your PTSD by diving in to work especially one that requires you to be at on alert and ready to react, I know this as I have been trying to cope with my PTSD and continuing to work, if you can take some time, heal and then make a choice. But good luck whatever you chose and know that I am thinking of you, and that I wish you happiness and peace.