that's got to be a hard thing, marlene, try shifting the focus of your hatred to her actions so that you can see that you do, indeed, love her, or these feelings would not make you feel guilty. there is nothing wrong with hating what she did, and teaching her that you can give her attention without dire circumstances. we have all done things we are not proud of, but have been forgiven for. i would try hard to forgive her (i am having trouble with a forgiveness issue in my life, too) that doesn't mean that you have to allow her to manipulate you again. just realize that her problems probably started with bona fide feelings and she used it after she saw your reactions. typical kid, really.
cathy