Terry, I must say I am impressed by your efforts to jump straight in and start talking about all this. It jumps out to me as, "enough stuffing about in life, I want to heal", which is just the way I like things myself. Well done.

Terry, never feel as though you can't say anything here in relation to your trauma, because in actual fact, you need to get it all out in order for exposure therapy to work. The idea of it is that you write about a trauma, you then read that trauma, add anything you missed that may come back too you, read it again and again repeating the process, until such time as your mind has remembered everything about that one incident. Anything that comes to mind should be included, because it means your brain has the information stored, and not including it simply means another piece left that will just bother you later that you have to come back too and get out off you, instead of just doing it all at once in relation to each trauma.

Mate, your right though, in your line off work you simply wouldn't be able to keep count. I have dealt with a few emergency service workers now, all of which are pretty much the same, in that even though a few scenes are the prominent ones, as soon as they heal them and the nightmares stop about those one's, more start from other scenes. Its a bit of a battle, but it means the mind needs to clear them all. Basically, your mind is showing you through nightmares and flashbacks at present what it currently perceives to be fearing, but once these are dealt with, more will come, have no doubt. Probably not want you want to hear, but its the truth and you should be aware considering your line of work.

Terry, there really is no need to be scared of what information you share here, because if you go into depth within many threads here, you will find the worst that humanity has to offer already openly discussed for everyone to learn, support and hopefully become inspired to get their own trauma out.

If you haven't read the into threads to the trauma diaries, please do, because they contain much of the information required in order for you to really help yourself. I understand that you within the field, and may know some or even all of the information already, but a refresh will certainly help you to get the best out here. There are four fairly short threads of specific information, being Getting Started With Exposure Therapy, Trauma's Interaction With The Brain, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for PTSD and Exposure Therapy for PTSD.

Terry, please tell me everything you remember about the tanker crash and lets sort this one out. What this will do is help you to reason with your fears and doubts in regard to this accident, then removing it from your minds need to present it with you through nightmares or flashbacks. More will come instead, but lets deal with one at a time. The more you can tell me about the incident, your involvement at all stages, what you did, how you felt, guilt and so forth, will help me even more to show you different angles, different reasoning, different perspectives on the incident.

Well done Terry for getting stuck into your trauma... really well done.