Bingo Eagle... if you didn't have fear of crowds, then the crowd wouldn't bother you, hence you wouldn't be constantly rearranging the cart. You hit it on the head. When you deal with your trauma, you are dealing with the fear that trauma has caused your mind. No more trauma, no more fear, thus no more worrying about crowds, thus no more rearranging the shopping cart at Wal Mart.

You hit it with "nervous habit". Something is making you nervous (anxious), being PTSD. You answered the root of the problem yourself with that statement.

Terry, what can you tell me about the dream in relation to when you joined the force? Is this something that all police, or majority off, have? Is this something that actually comes from the something back in training, where the constant fear right from training is your gun not working, or the bad guy getting you before you get them?