I also have had a very close friend committ suicide and when you first find out, it's like someone hit you with a two by four, and then it's just numbness that overtakes you after that, then the tears come, then the anger.

This only happened to me about two months ago, so it's very new still, but it's getting better. The reason that it's getting better for me, is because I talk about it, the friends that I have around me haven't ever said, "Ok, it's time that you should be over this." That's not a good thing to ask anyone to do, just "get over it", like that person never existed.

You and I have anxiety over the circumstances that caused someone that you loved, to feel desperate enough to come to the conclusion to end their own life. It's not an easy thing to grasp, because we weren't inside their heads, and so all we can do it try to accept something that seems so unacceptable. But, with time and help from those who love you, and the more you talk to others about it, it will eventually become bareable.

The time of the year that it happened will always touch your heart and soul, the smells in the air when it happened, the place where it happened, all of these things will always be very close to your attention, but, talk about it girl, just the way you've done here, and the pain and frustration of it will decrease.

God Bless and Welcome