Thanks for the hugs GR because I need them. I had one hell of a trigger off of this today. As I was trying to keep breathing and not fly off into a million little pieces, something I read here kept running through my head. Something to the affect of gotta hit the triggers to face the fears to deal with them. I held onto that line like a life-preserver until I felt back in control. Fortunately for me, we were at the movies and it was dark so I could zone out and think and no one knew I was only giving the movie part of my attention.

When we got home I sat down with my daughter (and hubby sitting next to me-moral support) and I talked to her. I told her how proud I was at how far she had come, but that I was still stuck emotionally in the past and had to work through it if I'm to get better and get past it. I explained (for the first time) what I was feeling when all of this was going on. She talked to me about things she hadn't talked about before. This talk was hard, it hurt, but I feel like a lot of my anger (and other emotions) are 'worked out' (for lack of better words).

I don't mean to sound like a cry-baby, but this bringing old shit up, going over it, dealing with it...it's freakin' brutal.

GR-hugs back at ya! I hope things get better with you mom.