Totally get that, The next person that tells me to get on with it and forget it is going to get all my anger in one shot, weather verbale or by fist. My mind races all day and then the nightmares take control i wake up very exhausted and drained only to face some smiling twit during the day that thinks its just a bad memory. Bad it aint i wish it was i have trouble remembering what i have said in a conversation then i get confused and blurt out some shit. I have taken to writing down my thoughts so i dont repeat myself then i get pissed off with that because im only protecting them. If it wasnt for my wife im sure id be locked up some where, it frustrates me to no end that i have to pretend and put on a brave face just to look some what normal for other peoples sake. Im glad ive got that out been wanting to say this for a long time. Little bits of my tale upset me as the full story does, its just one more thing i have to work at (shit the list is endless!). Im not sure if i have got this wrong but it seem as if i have to protect others around me from my pain so they dont feel akward weird but true.

Thanks for letting me ramble its nice to vent ahhhhhh