Terry, your doing just fine mate. We can sort other aspects of trauma lists and so forth later, as we need to nut out these main one's first. We start with the big one's, then the rest just seem to work themselves out as we learn.
The metric equivalent for LPG is 270:1; being for every 1 litre of compressed LPG, it mixes with air to make 270 litres off flammable liquid; obviously providing it has the right fuel:air mixture ratio to ignite and burn.
I am assuming then that the tanker was an Liquified Petroleum Gas (LPG) tanker?
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Originally Posted by Terry As for the rest of them, it would be about as long as War and Peace. |
Well mate, once the most significant are out of the way, your going to need to begin that novel here as best you can, being the significant issues that you think about. If you don't think about, nor get any imposing memories off an event within your past, it is not traumatic in regards to dealing with it. But if you went to an accident, had a child die on you or the like, and you remember the event, then you will need to get it out after the significant one's. Any trauma you leave behind, feeds PTSD. The slightest bit of trauma feeding PTSD is still enough to piss you off on a daily occurance.
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Originally Posted by Terry Having worked as an EMT for so long and seeing the extent of the burns I knew right away they were just walking dead. Any mass casualty incident involves triage which means looking at the injured to determine which ones have a greater chance of surviving. |
Terry, I understand you have spoken with doctors and therapists about this before, but I am wondering to what extent. The reason I say that, is because I see doubt here within your mind. Let me put this out to toss about.
If you where 100% confident within your decision that certain people where walking dead, as you put it; then you wouldn't have guilt about your decisions as such. Now this might not be the case, and I could certainly be wrong, as I am often, but for you to have such nightmares about this event, must mean that your mind has guilt and/or fear. You have fear from LPG, as you depicted in your previous post in regards to walking into a room heated by it, and you have guilt about the decisions you made in regard to who lived, and who was already dead by the definition of your training. What are you feeling guilty about Terry?
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Originally Posted by Terry The priority was the house fires and rescue of victims in the houses. My job on this one was to decide where resources should be used to save lives. The people that were burned the worst came next to last, right before the dead. |
Now, from what you have said, I agree with you in that you made the right decisions, but I see that you are having doubt, as described above. Why are you doubting your decisions?
At a guess, because so many died at one time, you have wondered whether others could have been saved or not. Possibly you have guilt associated to so many being lost, and you not being able to save them all???
Terry, I have more from that post, but lets work on one bit at a time shall we! I want to ensure that your anxiety isn't going to raise too far at once. I think narrowing down these aspects one at a time, will give you more focus on each, rather than trying to pull apart the entire incident at once, which could be a bit much for you.