Thanks ranger2 75, anthony, nam, veiled. Well what can i say you all said it i think i just needed to hear it for people that understand what we go through. It still makes me sick to think of what slipped out of my mouth that day i tried to keep that part of my incedent to myself and my psychiatrist now the wife knows and two others do. Some times i feel like standing on a box in the middle of a shopping centre and stop every body then tell them all what happened to me so i never have to explain myself again. I am slowly weeding the people i dont want or need in my life, only one mate has stayed the same with me the others that i worked with for over fifteen years were only nosey as long as the wife can handle me going missing for half the night because of anxiety & panic attacks and the rest of my problems i dont give a shit about any body else.

ps to anthony Im no oil painting but i saw your mug shot the other day i reckon we could pull the homeless thing off very well together and walk around pissing people off all day, remember its only a twelve hour train ride to Adelaide.