Today just shaky and belly a bit woozy, but a relief. I cried like mad for a while. I don't even get how I just had to get in my car to drive to the area that looked so much like where I was taken. I know I will never find the actual spot as the police officer and I drove all around those other sets of back roads trying to find it with no luck.

But this spot was so much like it and was there, it awakened emotions and fears I did not remember. I alredy remembered the fear of dying and the rape... I did not remember however the fear and how so intense it was thinking of the babies. Typing this again has me about to starting the bawling again. I don't think it is bad, a long time coming.