Hannah, Yes because it sounds oh so familiar (re:the last time we dealt w/PTSD; but we didn't know it was PTSD-related). I couldn't do anything right, stayed in the doghouse, we argued over me disciplining his kids (we have 2 mine, 2 his) & visa versa. He didn't "leave the cop at the door." He issued orders to all of us, & if the order wasn't followed, well, you know...
The abuse was psychological, emotional, and on 2 occasions physical (you'd pee on yourself if you knew what he did). I was not able to become detached, just scared.
Finally, in September '04, he said HE was tired of putting up w/this s**t & walked out a few seconds later. We seperated for 14 months (I filed for divorce after 6 mos). We didn't talk at all for a year. He said that during that time, he had a really rough time w/PTSD. He had to hit bottom before he realized who & what was really important to him. (I spent alot of time at the bottom, too. But I grew much stronger.) Then last Nov we reconciled, with a few of my conditions. I was NOT going to dive back into the same abuse! Everything was great for 7 mos, then the PTSD popped up again. He's not abusive now, just a different person who spends most of his time in his head.
Sometimes it feels like I just want too much.:(