Mystic, well done getting this far. Whilst you had abuse from your parents, I don't see any off that mentioned being traumatic enough to warrant PTSD. What I do see as traumatic enough to give you PTSD, is the rape at 16, promptly followed by your mothers discouragement, abandonment and ignorance of the matter. Whether you have it or not, that is only something that a physician can diagnose you with.

Your past could very well be helping the issues between you and your partner now, absolutely. He is a veteran, you have been raped, and as you so well and accurately put it, both parties have their baggage when coming too the relationship gate. Is his problems now provoking your own disposition surrounding personal trauma? Most likely.

Relationships are never easy, regardless of PTSD. Relationships come and go on a daily basis, and have nothing to do with any illnesses. Why? Because people realize they are not suited to one another, people are too selfish and want their life instead of a joint life, people find out their partner is not as nice as initially thought, and the list goes on. Society today is very different, in that relationships are like electronics, throw away items. That is the attitude today... and societies pressures have made it this way. Instead of working through problems, regardless of nature, we take the easy choices, the lazy choices, walk away instead, start over and do thing differently the next time. Problem is though, the next time comes and the same problems arise... and so continue in all relationships.

Relationships are a cycle, just like most things in life. Fashion is a cycle, and relationships are no different. The thing is though, is that what people forget, is that relationships must be taken back to gate in which both came together, at periodic times during it, in order for both parties to cycle the honeymoon period, put some life back into themselves, thus also back into the relationship.

One cannot make a relationship. Us males at the best of times, become complacent, stubborn and we think that things will remain the way they are, because that is our comfort levels and the way in which we are used too them. We struggle to change, and that is something that must be discussed in a relationship. Who said things have to stay the same? There is no rule. Both parties must be willing to try new things, move outside their comfort zones, in order to keep both ourselves, and our partners interested mentally.

I think you need to drag your hubby into a relationship counsellor, and let them give him the pointy end of the stick, so he can see he must make an effort, or else his comfort zone will no longer be very comfortable at all...