I am only 17 and I have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I should say that this is very hard for me to do because I have never talked to anybody about it.

A little over a year ago my girlfriend was killed in a car accident right by my side. I pulled her out. She bled to death right in my arms. The severe guilt of not being able to do anything has tortured me and still does. I wish I was in her place so much. She was so beautiful. I was and still am in love with her in the deepest way. It hurts so much. I also injured my head in the car accident, which damaged my brain in weird ways. I do not understand it really, I just cant show any positive emotions. It has severely affected my sleep. I have nonstop nightmares all of the time. People have woken me up telling me the things I do such as talking, sounding scared, and curling up. The dream always involves something about the car accident like I am trying so hard to change what happened. I will stop for now because it is getting hard to write, but i will continue later.

-T