hello Andrea - If you read my "story" I can totally identify with you - I "didnt understand " either all I wanted was to hug and have emotional conection with my husband and yet because we both didnt understand it has driven us apart blaming yourself is not good - however please hear what he is saying- your crying and upset will make him more detatched as he cant stand to see you in this state.


If I had been stronger I would have "backed off" and given him space in the house instead of constantly asking him what his problem was!!!

I could not see the wood for the trees - the sufferers here have given me an insight into this and the experience says give him space dont try to get into his head he has shut that off from you.

Patience is a true virtue - I didnt have it - its easy in hindsight but he is telling you what he wants and will have try to take a step back and keep your worries in your own head. Treat him with respect that is the most difficult thing for you but essential for him. I wish my husband was here so i
could practice what I have learned - hindsight is a wonderful thing - I hope to god my husband returns to me - but not much hope at the moment - he is travelling on business in January so I suspect Christmas is going to be very sad for us. Andrea take a step back do something for yourself take control of your emotions and let him know you care gently does it. I have told my husband on the phone that I wilhe l not take his disrespect anymore so did my son it seems to have worked. Conversations are miniscule but he is very hurt by my words that I slung at him for misunderstanding him. He says he is dealing with it - I couldnt take any more rejection at the time.

take care and take a breath otherwise your health will suffer also. I'm slowly regaining my sanity after throwing myself at a brick wall for two years!!!