Dazed,
I know how you feel about being impatient and about missing the good times....... for a long while i couldnt even remember how to laugh or even smile... times will get very hard... but hang in there.... there is nothing more that we can do but give space... and it seems that your husband contradicts himself alot...one day he loves you and the next he tells you he has wasted his/your time in life.... dont take anything he says right now to the heart... he is not well (obviosuly) give him the time and space so he can get better, but remember that he can only do this (has nothing to do with you) so whether it takes one day or one year he will have to figure this out himself...he cant run forever, he will realize that he needs you.