somaliaspouse, someday you may find something which makes you so happy that this will have been worth it, but you never will if you quit.
Hang in there for us.

Hey you nightmare guys, have you ever heard of lucid dreaming? I can't find a good site right now, but I can shower you with my own, magically delicious knowledge.

Lucid dreaming is where you claim a bit of control in your dreams.
I started this by imagining something simple, small and repetive in that "not-awake, not-asleep but can't move" state where you can still think but are on the way to sleep. I used stuff like little ball bearings rolling down a track into a small hole, a spinning spiral or like a dripping faucet.

After you've mastered summoning a specific visualization, start interupting it. Move the hole over so the ball just misses it, reverse the spiral or turn the spicket. This takes alot of time to master, but once you do you can gradually bring it into actual sleep.
I remember I was running from someone in a dream and I wasn't going fast enough. I stopped, thought out a car and decided it was there. Now it was functionable, but not real so I zoomed around like the crazy frog, but the point is I got away which wouldn't have happened if I haden't made it that way.

As for a note, I have NEVER been able to change a flashback dream. Sorry I'm working on it. Medical-related dreams I have been able to slightly alter. This usually means I wake up in a start still, but not crying. :) ;)

For those poor souls who have not had the shinning glory of watching the crazy frog yet, I shed upon you, much happiness.
http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic909.htm