Splost, I agree with you, in that you do not have to forgive an abuser. Sure, some do so because it gives them inner peace, which allows them to heal. Basically, that is how they are wired, so they can forgive an abuser. What is more important, is that we forgive ourselves. Instead of blaming ourselves, finding all the "what if's" and like, we deduce our own thought patterns to what is real, what is life itself. A person does not need to forgive another in order to forgive themselves. Often we feel guilty, we feel at fault as the victim, but we are not at fault. Victim is a word that many don't like, some like it too much and play on it, but the intent of victim, is that we are not at fault, another is.