Jen, secondary PTSD is that which is spoken in relation to spouses, family and those who support a PTSD sufferer, or live with them. Secondary PTSD is that more often than not, those carers or those that live with a person with PTSD will get secondary symptoms themselves, in that some symptoms of the PTSD will be gained by those people because the sheer impact a PTSD sufferer inflicts upon those around us.

When you hear of spouses mentioning depression or panic attacks, alcoholism to cope, etc etc, these are the symptoms of secondary PTSD. Spouses themselves do not often get PTSD as such from living with a sufferer, unless the sufferer of PTSD themselves are actually inflicting trauma to the highest degree upon the partner and the partner is putting up with it, living with it, accepting it. It is emotional abuse to put it simply. All spouses suffer it whilst PTSD goes untreated, and this is why I tell spouses they must look after themselves first, the sufferer second, otherwise it is a very real issue. You then end up with two sick people, not just one.

Whilst it isn't as bad now with the current focus on PTSD, and in that spouses are very much a focal part of the healing process, those who have already lived with it 10+ years, are now coming to light that they suffer secondary PTSD. It is nothing to hear from spouses that they drink each night in order to cope from the days events, or depression sets in, or they too have become quite reclusive in nature because the sufferer fails to leave their safety sanctuary.

Spouses MUST beware that this is very real, and has affected many already unbeknownst to them. This is why spouses often must get their own unique therapy sessions so they can cope with the crap. If a sufferer has healed, mended their way of living as such, then its not PTSD that causes the issues directly at that time, however; if the sufferer has taken 5+ years to sort their shit out, and have abused their partner / carer emotionally, verbally, etc all of that period, then it could take years for these symptoms to come out, because in a way, the carer / partner has also suffered trauma, and it is trauma, have no doubt. Being on the receiving end of a sufferer can be fearful at the best of times if aggression is the prevailing factor. Most often found in veterans because of their trained aggression, but can be found in any PTSD case realistically.

This is why the sufferer must remove their head from their arse, and get themselves healed of their trauma and learn how to manage PTSD. If they truly love their partner, they will do this not only for themselves, but for their partner, because of the sheer impact they have upon themselves. A sufferer says they wouldn't wish this upon anyone, but by abusing their partner, they are doing exactly that, pushing it upon another person through another means of traumatic influence.