This is good news Jen, counselling is a good step and talking would surely help. I just commented on this statement to my husband and he stated that 'he doesn't really feel anything so what is there to talk about?' I commented that 'I find it almost impossible to believe that anyone can be comfortable with the fact that they do not feel a range of emotions'. Do you find this one of the most frustrating aspects of being a partner with PTSD? It really ticks me off because not only do they not discuss their feelings but it makes it almost impossible and inevitably not worth bothering for you to discuss yours. This is fantastic for those with PTSD as they do not have to confront emotions, their own or anybody's. Frustrating for partners, as you begin to feel like you have no worth in the relationship. Really the communication link is made even harder by the fact that even if they were open to discussing your feelings, at the least, you can expect little or no understanding or support as they are, in Anthony's case at least, operating from a platform of no understanding. It is a kind of a continual guessing game the whole time. If only those with PTSD could see the potential benefit that communicating would bring to their world. I would have to surmise that this is one of the really big issues that is the decider between relationships surviving or not. I am generally a communicator and I find this is one aspect of PTSD that I just do not cope with well.

In my case I am not interested in the gory details of why Anthony has PTSD, as he would never share that with me anyway. All I am interested in is a basis of communication where our lives and our marriage would not be so bloody hard. Everything that you have to discuss, in my situation, creates tension and generally conflict. In the whole time we have been together there have been two occasions only, where we have had a decent discussion about issues where I haven't felt under pressure to keep quite in order to avoid conflict OR where I haven't been shut down by the dismissal technique.

Anyhow, sorry that is my vent for the evening. It is particularly pertinent at the moment as we are expecting our second child in November and I find this is a time, as I did with Alexander, when you just need that little bit extra.