Memories?

Memory trying to surface now.
I’ve got to keep it down somehow.
Still struggling to distract myself
To keep memories on the shelf.

I know tonight, when all alone,
My mind will surely start to roam.
Cleaning, scrubbing, working too hard
Will help me to keep up my guard.

Why does this one disturb me so?
And how in the world do I know?
My heart is beating hard and fast,
How long will all this panic last?