You feel confusion about a secret of sexual nature. Life is a struggle for you at present, and certainly comes with its ups and downs. You are not trusting within intimacy, quick to get involved likely for the attention. You are aware of your poor support systems, feel depreciated even as a result, hence you very low self esteem. You highly value commitment and feel you are healing in this area even though you feel you have suffered victimization of a sexual nature. Your life’s biggest problem is the feeling you have fallen into a situation or predicament in regards to the secrets you keep in relation to sexual abuse you have endure, that involve a male person who you see within a position of power or authority to control you, thus you see no hope for the future at this time.

Mouse, I have cut this down to the bare minimum, because let me be honest here; your subconscious is totally preoccupied with a male person who has sexually abused, molested or raped you that you have remained secretive about. Now I started to wonder about your past, so I went back and reread your diary, and to my surprise, the only person you had mentioned up until yesterday was your uncle in relation to sexual abuse. Your last post yesterday suddenly mentioned another male person, who your uncle brought into his abuse of you, which you only have stated that he performed oral sex on your uncle whilst watching your uncle rape and molest you.

Mouse, did this other male also rape or molest you, force you to perform the same things as per your uncle upon this male? (Blunt, yes) I somehow see this pattern within your imagery that this is the case, unless you are keeping a secret about something else your uncle did to you, but I doubt that alone could cause this much distress, because those aspects in general are not secretive anymore.