• Perhaps I saw brick, fencing surrounding the entire property and tall evergreens, because of my desperate unsatisfied need and craving for safety and security much of my entire life. This front, above others, is more likely to keep others out, unless invited in, and me safe to live my life from within. Then if there is any possibilities of sharing love and values with other family members it won’t be influenced and disrupted by the onslaught of others and subject to the outside world with all its many forms of predators.

The very carefully designed landscape may reflect an image and pretense I present to the outside world that I can handle things, I can manage and that I’m alright and doing well, when in fact I search for my lost spirit and feel much emptiness inside. I like to be in control of what others will see and won't see in me, depending upon my level of trust. Presenting myself, perhaps in disguise, in my efforts to control others perception of me. Slipping into spells of seeking a negative reflection of me, with the subconscious goal of eliminating people from my life. Also, choosing to present that all is well, while in reality not, and even while self-destructing and in quiet desperation taunted emot. and ment. from within.

The house is presently empty, and while I entertain the notion that all is well and the family will return, I seriously doubt this reality. Perhaps, presently reflective of much insecurity.

The condition of the inside of the house as well as me envisioning the memory of a woman, working within the kitchen and providing much love and nurturing to her family.

[something I saw within my mental imagery, but neglected to mention as in fact the house was presently empty, but I could still see almost a ghostly image of her (a memory) and the family that once was];

This all speaks to me that if I follow through with the completion of my healing, the lights will come back on, heat and warmth will permeate the home, and family activity, sharing and life can begin again. And, there will be many surprises in store. Many of which will emanate from within the strength and heart of that woman and will be shared. I suspect that my image of the memory of this woman who once was at home, but is presently gone is suppose to be symbolic of me. However, I have no clue or reason to believe that she and her family will ever return. I can only blindly continue to hope, when able, for now.