Why does this whole sexual intimacy keep coming up? I'm afraid of it. I crave it yes, I miss it, but I'm afraid of it. I think I would freak out if someone asked me out on a date! LOL. Yes, I am quick to get involved. More like was, lol, as the thought of someone coming near me makes me want to vomit.

Support systems? They suck. Plain and simple. This whole episode with my kids has proven that. I haven't had one person step up and attempt to help and it's way out of control here. I have my best Freind Nicole, who just moved home, she is the only real support system I have, Connie is good for talking and it ends there. I'm coming out of my confusion and denial. When I have to go to FAC's to get help, because I have no family support, denial tends to go out the window.

Yeah, commitment.. commitment to getting beat? used? lied to? etc.. I'm a very loyal person but enough is enough. I don't want commitment because I know where it leads.. down an ugly road. I'd rather be alone. It's calmer, nicer, safer, etc..

Yeah my self-esteem and confidence has taken a horrible hit lately. I have to remind myself to congradaulate myself on my little accomplishments in a day as I feel so down.

I am exhausted all the time. I could sleep for 20 hours and I would feel exhausted. The more that is getting piled on me, the more exhausted I am feeling...

bec