Wayne, other than your name and your quad bypass, I would swear that you're really my husband incognito.. Identical!! I was fired unfairly from my job (damn PTSD) that was last april, my husband's mother suddenly passed away in july.. constant turmoil in household with blended family/teenagers or some who still think they're teenagers. You have so much going on in your head and heart, with your mom, wife, kids, etc.. its hard to do it. Your wife has her own tangled blob that she's trying to work through. Self esteem after losing a job is big.. I feel like three quarters of who I was , was my job. Now thats been taken away from me. I feel worthless. My poor husband is suffering too, his mom is all he had since his dad died when he was 17. I feel unable to help support him when I'm so screwed up myself. This forum is at least a start, we all understand what you're both going through.. please continue to talk to us.. it helps get through each day.. and even though you're probably not really my husband under cover, you're loved, more than you probably know.