Lee.. get off the rollercoaster !! You need to do whats best for you and your children. Its HIS fault he isnt getting and KEEPING up on his treatment, NOT YOURS. Speaking from experience.. I'd rather be a child from a divorced home that from an abused home. Neither you nor the kids need that. Its breaking you down.. and the kids.. you tried to help him.. you tried to hang in there.. but at some point.. (and it sounds like you already know this) you need to save yourself and your kids. Give yourself permission to get on with it. You are NOT your mom.. or your dad.. You sound like a strong, independent, intelligent woman. Give yourself credit, and make yourself happy. No more guilt. :kickass: