Mac, I totally agree with what you said above actually, I too would also deny any claim associated to PTSD. Mental imagery is ment to provoke your psyche, that is the idea of it. Two people here have done the full interview with Dr Roerich last weekend in the trial, both blown away with what they learnt about themselves, where their real trauma is located and what they need to be concentrating upon now.

Scott, you confused what PTSD is I believe, because you refer to you childhood incidents as all being solved before you joined the military, yet your telling me absolute BS here, because in one breath you say it was all solved, yet another you tell about your issue with alcohol in the military because of what happened to you as a child, and your SGT or the like helping you out of that alcoholic stage to concentrate on yoru career in the army. Your not constant hear, hence why I can still see and get very clearly from your words, this has not been resolved at all. It doesn't matter what causes PTSD, it doesn't matter whether your childhood abuse actually resulted in PTSD, or whether it was simply predisposing you for when you hit Bosnia, it is all irrelevant at the end of the day, because you have PTSD, and its not curable, it NEVER just goes away. PTSD is with you for life, and that means to manage PTSD you must go back and ensure every single aspect of trauma in your life is resolved, is dealt with, no stone unturned so to speak. You say in one breath your childhood abuse causes you no more issue, yet in your initial post of this thread, you where breaking down in tears just writing about it. Then in a further post you mentioned how you just had to get this out of you... all the time your opinion of your true feelings have constantly changed throughout this thread. That says denial all over it, it says you haven't resolved the core of this issue. Your dreams have nothing to do with what directly affects you. Yes, dreams are the minds way of telling us something is wrong, however; our sub-conscious is actually more accurate to determine what is wrong.

To be absolutely honest, it doesn't even matter where you begin in healing, it doesn't matter whether you focus on your dreams, and what is causing them, because its all healing, and that you are doing, you are trying to heal. I am merely just pointing out, I think your denying yourself of your true emotional depth here, besides this will be eventually taken out of your hands, because if this childhood issue isn't really resolved as I expect, it will come back and replace your dreams of Bosnia once you heal them. This forum is about helping people move totally out of denial, into where everything can be looked at, turned over and viewed, if nothing negative comes from raising a past memory, then there is not issue, but you have expressed negative emotions from even raising this point, which means everything isn't as rosie as you think it is, or are trying to make out to us here.

Scott, I know all too well the impact of operations, as I discharged a SGT, they wanted me to stay because they where promoting me to Warrant Officer soon, yet I had to leave because I knew I would kill someone with my PTSD being so far out of control, the little I knew off it at that time. I have been on operations from CPL level, SGT and CSM, commanding up to 200 troops in operational environments, I know all too well the stressors and impact of war zones, peace keeping zones and humanitarian aid missions. I was in denial about a lot of things for a long time, and it wasn't until someone finally pushed me to shift out of denial, look at everything, just take a peek, when I soon discovered more things impacted me than I ever thought did.