Jen, we all have it in us, its just a matter of how much we want it. For example, Cathy (cookie) fell apart for a good 3 months, mouse you can see her falling apart as she has just really stepped into the thick off the healing process, veiled did the same, I did the same, and lots lots more here, but we all come out the other side, and it is these things we must remember to keep us fighting throughout the process, and support from others to keep us focused on the right direction, and not allow ourselves to go so deep we end up in suicide. Its a huge step, a painful one, and once pandoras box is opened, you cannot close it.