still a shaky sick mess. Hubs keeps saying he will get me in to the doc soon. I really need to be back in therapy. I may "know" what I am supposed to do, it is just so frigging hard to implement it when I turn into a scared and scatter brained mess. I need the doc to prod me along and the "homework" doc would give me always had me actively working on areas I did not do well in. Getting that "I want to runaway" itch but hell I know I can't so I guess that is good! I always make a mess when I do that shit. As I shake so bad and cannot think oh yeah... I really need to get back at the doc and go dive in all myself help books again for some days. If I can think straight enough to get back on track. Pissed at myself that I have not been able to get my dose lowered like I want and keep it down from it being upped over this weekend. Not as high as I had it but not back down to normal. I would be so sick I could not care for the little one at all if at the normal levels...