Hi all, yes wildcritter what you say is so correct, I fear I have lost him now he is back in his comfort zone......... talks of carrying a pistol and he has the AK47 and guards for sprotection he is animated in his talk - the adrenalin is back flooding through his veins at an alarming rate!

His family and me are no contest for this head rush and he has desserted us for this life - daughter wont talk to him and that "breaks his heart" but his retort was "well what can I do" he has little contact and doesnt even ask me how I am! All him him him....arghhhhh

I am getting on with life - his anger towards me has gone it has been replaced by an indifference - he doesnt care what is happening back home.

I feel so let down by him - the life we have lost together and the devastation and the disregard of the people he loved and who loved him dearly he has just ignored. I have given up competing for his time and affection. sadness decends on me when I think about his broken promises.

his irresponsible behavior to his marriage vows and his children. how long he can live his life this way - I dont know - probably still be in combats at 85 ha!

As you can tell I still love and miss him but it takes two to make a relationship work and it is obvious he has chosen the love of his life his bloody gun and the Iraqi conflict.:gunem-dow :die: :crybaby:

take care guys - I am checking in to see how you are all doing. I dont know what I would have done without this site in the earlier days - it is a fab means of support