got triggered pretty bad last night. Wasdrinking (I know, bad cass) goonie of all things.
Was talking to one ofLukes mates Weusually just pace around each other like two cats in a room full of rocking chairs.


Last night however he started talking about his childhood. So many things were the same, I just freaked out. I started crying, burning myself. Someone dropped a glass and Luke had to fight with me to get the shards off of me.


Closes eyes and wishes she could make it go away.

After that I blacked out. They said Iwasstill talking, swearing, having violent bursts but Ijust don't f***ing remember.

Iam soangry with myself though. I just wanted all the shit in my head to **** off for one night and to lt myself relax aaround my friends. ****,I was even flinching away from Luke, like I wasexpecting him to hit me. He is the gentlest person, he would never raise a hand to me, but I still flinched away if he went to touch me.

I hate this shit so much.

Gacks, is after 1 am, probably ought to *gasp shock horror* sleep.