ok.. its me.. (Ubu's wife) I know I've put Ubu in a horrible position. I've turned his life upside down. Mine feels the same, if not worse. I try to explain it to him, its so hard to do - when even I dont know whats going on.

I dont want to hurt anyone, yet I'm hurting everyone. And its killing me. Ubu is a good man, he deserves so many good things. I'm not fulfilling any of the things he deserves. Not even the basics. I'm trying, but I just cant.

I feel like my 'cup' is not only overflowing, but cracking too. Now Ubu is starting to 'crack'. I half-jokingly told him last night that only one of us was allowed to fall apart at a time.

I'm barely 'eeking' by.. I take my meds.. I'm trying to get 'in touch' with myself.. I see the shrink.. I do the workbooks.. I'm trying.. I just cant do it fast enough to fix things. I feel like I waited too long. :frown: