As I said in my previous post. I had the flu for two days, that means I was off my meds for two days, and 2 hours of sleep. I was in a deep shitty whole. Ive said to Vcc before. It is a journey if it takes 6 months , 6 years or a life time. We will get through this. I needed to vent i guess. I did not want to add to her pressure,stress or hurt. But i did. I am so very sorry.