Anthony,
Now that some time has past I can see clearer what you were saying Yes I am totaly obssesed with My uncle and his Monster friends there were several male people that were involved in my rapes and I am very much stuck on these men and there identities I will never know who they were, but the fact that there were that many sick people involved in the same acts make me sick.

I am feeling like my support system my hubby is lacking as he keeps telling me that he understands and is here for me yet he isnt and always finds ways of being gone or convienently not around when I need him or when the dr.s want to talk to him, as far as Intamcy goes it is an issue that is becoming a large problem Iam intereasted in trying to be intimate but my hubby seems to not be intereasted, however I am worried that I will upset him if we are intimate because I will have a flashback . I have begun to do some digging and have discovered while I am the only one heraped my uncle diid touch my other cousins in inappropriate ways, it makes charging easier, just havent been able to give detailed statement and not sure when i will. Now that my Uncle has moved to Hawaii I feel some sense of relief but I still worry tht he will one day show up and I will have to confront him face to face again because ican not hold back my emotions any more. I have gotten to a place that I am no longer coping and have resorted to my old habits of repressing and denial as well as avoiding people and things that remind me or place me in similar positions